The Wednesday Collage Part 5: There is a Light That Never Goes Out

I digitally cataloged my CD collection today. All the featured songs come from a drunken stumble down memory lane.

"Love American"- Give Up the Ghost This band (and Wesley Eisold, in general) basically shaped my thoughts on art and style.

                                                  Dream come true.

"There is a Light That Never Goes Out" - The Smiths Way before 500 Days of Summer made them cool. That makes me a hipster.

                                                  Helloooo, Dolly.

"Bed of Nails" - Husker Du Got to see a Bob Mould show this year. Some people are more prolific than others.

                                                   Hang ten.

"L'Via L"Viaquez" - The Mars Volta Way more punk rock than you think.

Tron.

"My Babe" - Little Walter The original Weezy.

The Diner

by Richard Jones

The short-order cook and the dishwasher
argue the relative merits
of Rilke’s Elegies
against Eliot’s Four Quartets,
but the delivery man who brings eggs
suggests they have forgotten Les fleurs
du mal and Baudelaire. The waitress
carrying three plates and a coffee pot
can’t decide whom she loves more—
Rimbaud or Verlaine,
William Blake or William Wordsworth.
She refills the rabbi’s cup
(he’s reading Rumi),
asks what he thinks of Arthur Whaley.
In the booth behind them, a fat woman
feeds a small white poodle in her lap,
with whom she shares her spoon.
"It’s Rexroth’s translations of the Japanese,"
she says, "that one can’t live without:
May those who are born after me
Never travel such roads of love."
The revolving door proffers
a stranger in a long black coat, lost in the madhouse poems of John Clare.
As he waits to be seated,
the woman who owns the place
hands him a menu
in which he finds several handwritten poems
By Hafiz, Gibran, and Rabindranath Tagore.
The lunch hour’s crowded—
the owner wonders
if the stranger might share
my table. As he sits,
I put a finger to my lips,
and with my eyes ask him
to listen with me
to the young boy and the young girl
two tables away
taking turns reading aloud
the love poems of Pablo Neruda.

                                                         " Rust" by J. Bannon

Stay filthy.

Stack Your Life

Socrates once said that the unexamined life is not worth living. Well, look what happened to him. He's dead, if you weren't sure. Imprisoned by his own friends and then forced to drink hemlock. But, don't worry! This wasn't a result of examining his life, but of corrupting the youth. So, let's go on examining our lives and not talk to children at all.

In all seriousness, if we are on a quest for the best life possible with the grungiest of grips, then some self-examination is not only helpful, but necessary. Lately, I've been using a little exercise that I like to call Life Stacks to see if my life is on the right track or if I've strayed from the course. You may be wondering what this course of which I speak actually is. Simply put, it's doing what you love and living by a set of standards that are important to you. This is where the self-examination comes in as you need to know what is actually important to you.

Knowing what is important to you can be a very difficult task simply because we must differentiate between what gives us pleasure and what truly fulfills us (unless getting pleasure truly fulfills you, in which case you're wasting time reading this when you could be eating a snow-cone in a massage chair). This takes careful thought and a little bit of hard work. If your list of important things is too long you must wonder how much time you actually spend on these things. If too short, you may need to broaden your horizons. I find it helpful to have a clear and concise list of around 10 things (I have 8) that are of sincere importance to you. Having a tangible and breviloquent list of that which is tantamount in your life alleviates any worries you may have regarding decision making, time spent, or even where your money goes. How? If you're thinking about spending time, money, or effort on something that really isn't that important, then why are you doing it? You probably should have a very strong reason to do so. And this is where the Life Stacks come in; they allow you to see if you are actually spending your time, money, and efforts on worthwhile pursuits.

Here's how it works. Get out a piece of paper and something with which to write. Make 2 columns or "stacks". 1 stack is going to be your list of things that are important to you. The other stack is a list of things on which you spend the majority of your energies and resources. It's helpful to have stacks of equal size (8 in each stack or 10 or whatever). Now, simply match them up. How many items appear in both stacks? Any? If you're living an awesome life the answer should be all. If it's not, you now know what you need to work on and you can develop a plan and set a goal (see last week's post) for how to get there.

                                                                    Stacked.

Here's an example using my stacks. The items are in no particular order:

Important                                                 
God (praying, reading scripture, and serving others)                                                          
Friends/Family (catching up/spending time with)                                            
Food (focusing on and eating quality foods in my own kitchen, rather than buying garbage)                                                      
Coffee (quality roasts and well-made espressos over Starbucks quickies and Folgers goo)                                                        
Style (owning a few quality, timeless items instead of oodles of Ed Hardy t-shirts)                                                          
Fitness (this is everything from lifting, mobility, and sprinting to climbing, surfing, and backpacking)                                                          
Music (writing and finding new stuff)                                                          
Books (at least one every 2 weeks)

Actual
Work (is this what I want to be/should be doing?)
Facebook (how many times did I refresh the News Feed this hour?)
TV (do I enjoy this show or am I just passing time?)
Lifting (how much time do I need to spend reading about it when it only takes an hour?)
Pinterest (I'm not a girl getting married nor am I into mason jars)
Suit Up or Die (it takes 5 minutes twice a week, not an hour a day)
Craigslist motorcycle shopping (can't afford it)
Stress (sitting around worrying is unproductive)

As you can see I have a lot of work to do as none of the items on my stacks match up. Now, I could argue that things like Pinterest and SUoD influence my style, Facebook counts as friend time, and work enables all the others, but that would be rationalizing poor decisions when I should be trying to make better ones.

I can also use stacks to see where I'm spending most of my energy and where energy should be directed. It's obvious that I spend too much time cruising around the internet as 5 of the 8 in the actual stack are internet-based. This takes away from time I could spend reading or playing music. I also end up buying things I don't need but see on the internet, so I have less money to spend on good food and coffee. The more I stress, the crazier my hormones get and instead of putting down a spinach salad I appease my craving for maple bar donuts. I could go out and grab a drink with friends or I could watch reruns of Bones.

After examining both lists it's pretty easy to see where you're going wrong, where you're going right, and how to fix it. So, give this a shot if you're feeling like making some improvements. And for heaven's sake, stop corrupting the youths. It's bad enough they're still using YOLO.                                                    

The Wednesday Collage Part 4: Not Sorry

Your goal should be to be this rad.

Stay Filthy.

"Springsteen" - Eric Church

                                                 Back

"Everybody Talks" - Neon Trees

                                                Triumph

"Not Sorry" - Downtown Struts

                                                             Copycat

"Rock n' Roll Music" - The Beatles

                                                Triumph

Mahler's 8th Symphony Finale

Why You're Not Achieving Your Goals

Disclaimer: This is a repost of something I wrote at Betterself.com. It's a great website that everyone should check out. It seemed relevant as I've had a lot of people ask me or talk to me about goals. Just to update this time-wise, I've paid off one of my 2 student loans and hit the first of 5 milestones on my quest to buy a house. Enjoy. Also, I don't know why the text is back-lit and the like.

At any given time someone is setting a goal, aiming to hit it, and then blowing it completely.  It seems like “goal-oriented” people are spending more time setting goals and less time conquering them. It’s a condition called “you’re dumb”.  With a few simple guidelines (and the minerals to stick to them) you can stop setting goals and start achieving them. And, in case you’re wondering, in the past 2 months I have gotten rid of 75% of my belongings, paid off 3 of my 4 debts, healed a life-long leg injury, and spent more leisure time with friends than I have in the previous 6 months. So, trust me. I know what I’m saying.

Problem 1: Your Goals Suck

I actually don’t care what your goals are. They may be that you’re trying to get in shape, get a degree, or obtain the largest collection of Polly Pocket memorabilia. None of that matters. What is important is that you state your goals in a specific and tangible manner, one that you can take calculated steps towards accomplishing, instead of just vague, half-assed attempts. “Get in shape” is not a goal. It’s an idea and a crappy one at that. Round is a shape and I’m pretty sure that’s not what you’re going for. Also, getting in better shape than you are now really isn’t an accomplishment, depending on how out of shape you are. “Run 400 meters in under 50 seconds” is a goal and a damn good one. Not only is it a lofty ambition to begin with, it’s specific enough for you to take real steps towards getting there. You’ll probably even get “in shape” on your way to it. “Get rich” is another crappy goal. Take what you have and buy a one way ticket to Rwanda. You’ll be the East Egger of Africa. Goal accomplished, right?

Problem 2: You’re Not Actually Trying to Meet Your Goal

This is a very common problem for the simple reason that goals take work. Everybody thinks they have goals, but very few people will put in the work that it takes to actually achieve them, except for telling the office receptionist that you’re “totally writing the next great American novel”. Just setting a goal is not enough. You need to take huge steps towards that goal if you ever want to meet it. What good is setting a goal if you’re not going to put in the effort to achieve it? How can you be saving to buy a house if you’re not putting away a substantial part of your paycheck to save for it? The whole concept of setting a goal is based on the idea that your goal is worth sacrificing and laboring for. If it isn’t, see Problem 1. So, once you have a goal, actually WORK towards it. Order water instead of 8 beers if you’re trying to fit into that bridesmaid’s dress. Stay up late studying if you want that 4.0. And give up your weekly Crate & Barrel shopping sprees if you’re trying to get out of debt. You may miss out on the latest gluten-free couch cushions, but the knowledge that a credit card company no longer owns your income is well worth it.

Problem 3: Your Support System Blows

The age old problem of peer pressure. Just because you don’t have pimples and there’s no locker to get stuffed into doesn’t mean it will go away. As soon as you set a goal I guarantee that most people in your life (including loved ones) will try to derail it. It could be your mom forcing extra spaghetti on you if you’re trying to lose weight, your friends pushing you into a Vegas trip if you’re trying to save money, or your significant other playing the guilt game because you want to go to church and try to change your life. People who rarely challenge themselves become threatened when you take the initiative to challenge yourself. These people are called “toxic” and while you can’t simply get rid of all of them, you’d be best served if you dropped most of them. It may sound harsh, but think about it. These people are committed to dragging you down and keeping you in a lifestyle that you are trying to escape. They are not thoughtful enough to respect your choices, so why keep them around? Surround yourself with people who support your goals and decisions or just simply go it alone. Liked I said before, your goals are worth it.

Bonus Round: You don't yeh. 'Nuff said. Meow.

You’re no longer dumb and you have everything you need to accomplish and slay your goals, unless you don’t know how to read. In that case, put the computer down and order Baby Einstein. And someone please forward this to Congress.


AOW: Find five books that you want to read. Write down the titles and authors. Buy one and start it. Easy stuff.

Sinatra Saturday the Third (Forget that it's Sunday)

Raise some cane.

"Come Fly with Me"

Stay filthy.

The Wednesday Collage Part 3: So Long

Enjoy the biscotti coma? Shake it off with some music and stuff to look at.

Stay filthy.

"So Long" - Cazz

                                                           Alva OG

"Heartbeat" - Childish Gambino

                                                             Go Down with It

"Just One Look" - Doris Troy

                                                           Backwash

"Primitive Girl" - M. Ward

                                             Tuned In

"Piss" - Pantera (the lost track)

‘And ask ye why these sad tears stream?’

'And ask ye why these sad tears stream?'

‘Te somnia nostra reducunt.’
OVID.

And ask ye why these sad tears stream?
Why these wan eyes are dim with weeping?
I had a dream–a lovely dream,
Of her that in the grave is sleeping.

I saw her as ’twas yesterday,
The bloom upon her cheek still glowing;
And round her play’d a golden ray,
And on her brows were gay flowers blowing.

With angel-hand she swept a lyre,
A garland red with roses bound it;
Its strings were wreath’d with lambent fire
And amaranth was woven round it.

I saw her mid the realms of light,
In everlasting radiance gleaming;
Co-equal with the seraphs bright,
Mid thousand thousand angels beaming.

I strove to reach her, when, behold,
Those fairy forms of bliss Elysian,
And all that rich scene wrapt in gold,
Faded in air–a lovely vision!

And I awoke, but oh! to me
That waking hour was doubly weary;
And yet I could not envy thee,
Although so blest, and I so dreary. 

Alfred Lord Tennyson

Axe to Fall by J Bannon

Paleo Dark Chocolate Biscotti

Welcome back to Dirt On Your Hands after what was hopefully a lovely week off. You probably enjoyed a veggie-less, strong coffee-less week of sleeping really late. Now that you're done being lazy and useless, let's get back to work on living a gnarly life.

This week we're talking about something that can either ruin your life or save it: skinny jeans.

Joke.

I'm talking about food. The scrumptious. What you eat will actually dictate your life whether you want it to or not. If you eat crappy food, your life will likely be less than optimal. If you eat great food, you'll probably marry rich. I promise. Eschewing a life of grimy fast food and vending machine trinkets and instead opting for quality and delicious meals is a guaranteed way to improve your quality of life.

So here comes the question. What do I eat?

Here's one recipe that I recently tried out. After eating the whole batch by myself in one day and posting a few pictures online (of the food, not of me eating it) I received a lot of positive feedback and people asking for me to share it, including a few date offers, a gift certificate to the Container Store, and a cabinet position in the newly elected government of Papua New Guinea. So, without further ado, here's the recipe for Paleo Dark Chocolate Biscotti.

Ingredients:

1 1/4 cups of blanched almond flour
1 tablespoon of arrowroot powder (this is a thickening agent)
1/4 teaspoon of Celtic sea salt (racist)
1/4 teaspoon of baking soda
As many dark chocolate chips as you want

Combine the almond flour, arrowroot powder, baking soda, and racist salt. You can use a blender, a food processor, a whisk, your hand, your bulldog's tail stub. Whatever. Just get it mixed.

Next, mix in the agave nectar. Mix it all as thoroughly as possible until it's one thick, sticky glob that ruins everything it touches, like Sammy Hagar.

Sprinkle in the dark chocolate chips evenly and form the dough into two big logs on a baking sheet covered in parchment paper.

Bake for 15 minutes at 350 degrees. That's Fahrenheit because we believe in democracy. Then take them out and let them cool for about an hour, then summon your inner lumberjack and cut the logs into the proper sized biscotti slices. It's best if you use a knife as a hairbrush is a bit too gentle and a gun lacks a certain finesse.

Put them back in the oven at 300 degrees (think American, again) and let them bake for 15 minutes. When done, let them sit for a while so they can crisp up. Soft biscotti tastes funny. Eat with coffee.

As a side note, just because they are Paleo doesn't mean they are super healthy and can be eaten with reckless abandon. It means they have no gluten or dairy. Almond flour is really calorie dense and agave nectar has the same effect on your blood sugar and insulin as cane sugar. If you kick back and eat these all day you'll still become an illiterate mouth-breather, you'll just be a gluten and dairy-free illiterate mouth-breather.

                                           Better with roosters and EVOO.


AOW: This week, for five days straight I want everyone to do 100 air squats per day. An air squat is simply standing straight up with your toes forward, push your butt back and your knees out as you descend, and pause in the bottom (make sure you go all the way down, ass to ankles). Reverse the motion by keeping your knees out and standing up. Make sure you extend your hips fully and squeeze your butt cheeks together at the top of every rep.

Why? Most people don't exercise and most people who do exercise don't train their legs. Running isn't a leg work out, either. Squatting is. Strong legs and glutes are needed for survival. It's essential for human health and function, so give this a shot. 5 days this week, 100 squats per day. If you have trouble squatting, hold onto a door knob to stay upright. If you already exercise regularly and have some proper programming, break up the reps throughout the day so it won't be as difficult and won't interfere with your training. If you don't exercise already, do all 100 at once, as fast as you can. Try to get faster every day. Ignore the burn. Find a way. Finish with some post-workout biscotti and enjoy having a rad butt.

Also, buy Cazz's new EP on iTunes. You don't have a say in the matter.

Stay filthy.